Why can't I hear him and know what he wants me to do? Did I abandon God because I wanted to be on this journey alone or did he forget about me? Was God with me all along on this journey? Am I ignoring God on this journey?
I try my best to let go and let God steer but, maybe I need to take over. Do I think I know what is best? In my heart I know God knows what is best even though I hate his choices because they are uncomfortable, uneasy and take me to ports I do not want to visit. When I am use to things being done my way or he has given me a path to follow that I am not sure about I question and cannot let go of the control. I do not want to walk the path that is hard, I want my life to be simple and not complicated.
Now I am sitting here reevaluating who is the actually the co-pilot, is it me? or is it God? It is natural for me to want to steer I am a leader with a "take charge" attitude. I do not like to take risk and be uncomfortable while living. If I make the "jump" into unchartered territory I am worried about the risk, and the consequences God is offering!
When God steers I am faced with challenges that I would have never thought of and he gives me several opportunities to stretch my Faith and trust in him. I worry more about God's outcomes, and I know I need to leave my worries to him; he will lead me to a great quest that will change my life.
Can I still worry? Can I question God's decision? I believe yes, but I cannot question the journey but, I have to live and know he is with me at all times. God is there to guide me, council me and take me to Glory even when life is difficult!
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